So Cold
by Snow Whitex Prince Charming
Summary: AU: The way Regina saw it, it was an eye for an eye, a limb for a limb, his life for her baby...
1. In Emma's Eyes

Emma sat bolt up right in bed; she had a nightmare of the worst kind. Pushing the heavy bed clothes aside Emma grabbed her baby blanket and tiptoed through her darkened bedroom to the door stretching up on her toes Emma pulled the heavy door open just enough so she could slip out into the deserted halls. Emma knew she must be careful not to let the guards catch her out of bed once she had been caught by a guard who had given her a spanking and scold her for being out of bed. Needless to say her mother had spoken to the knight and had sent him away on a special mission never to be seen again. Emma crept though the dimly lit halls until she reached her mother's chambers the door to her mother's rooms was slightly ajar letting a sliver of warm golden light to spill out into the dreary hall Emma knew better than to barge into her mother's room so Emma raised her little fist to knock but stopped when she heard voices inside.

"Did Emma go down?" the kind old gentleman she called Grandfather asked her mother

"Yes" Her mother's voice soft like silk and filled with love replied.

"Regina" her grandfather's voice had changed from kindness to pleading

"Don't" Her mother's voice came out sharp

"Sweetheart please we must talk about this" Her grandfather pleaded unaffected by her mother's icy tone

"I said don't! Every night for four years you've asked me the same question!"

"Regina-"

"And what has my reply always been?" Her mother asked

"It was worth it Emma is the key to your happy ending" Emma's grandfather sighed

"Correct, my answer will never change!"

"But Regina-"

"Enough! I will not have you question me about _my _daughter!" Her mother roared Emma let out a frightened whimper gone from her mother's tone was the soft like silk quality there was no love in this person's voice only anger who was this woman? Could her mother really be so cold? The room had gone dead silent as Emma whimpered there was a heavy pause and then her mother's heels ringing out against the floor Emma stumbled back a few steps frightened as the door opened to reveal her mother's tall figure

"Emma?" Back was her mother's soft silk-like tone love laced with concern filled her voice

"What is wrong my darling?" Her mother asked bending down to look into Emma's face

"I- I had a nightmare" Emma said pushing the cruel voice she had just heard far from her mind. She peered past her mother's skirts her grandfather stood within the room smiling warmly as always.

"Oh really?" Her mother asked kindly offering Emma her hand

"Well I can fix that" Emma took her mother's out stretched hand and allowed herself to be led into the room, a cheery fire crackled in the hearth as her mother sat down and pulled Emma into her lap

"What troubles my little flower?" Her mother asked tears flooded Emma's eyes

"I dreamt we were having a picnic and suddenly you were gone" Emma said a fat tear rolling down her cheek

"Hush my darling, Mama's here Mama will protect you everything's alright." Her mother said picking up a sliver hairbrush and working it through Emma's still damp curls from her nightly bath and as she did so she began to sing

"The sun has gone from the shining skies Bye, baby, bye The dandelions have closed their eyes Bye, baby, bye The stars are lighting their lamps to see The babes and squirrels and birds and bees Are sound asleep as they ought to be Bye, baby, bye.

_The squirrel keeps warm in his furs of gray Bye, baby, bye 'Neath feathers, birdies are tucked away Bye, baby, bye The robin's home is a nest o'erhead The bees, they nest in a hive instead My baby's nest is her little bed Bye, baby, bye."_ the song was comforting her mother sang it to her every night before she went to sleep. Emma's eyes began to droop Emma loved her mother she played games with her, and sang songs to her, her mother was the fairest in all the land, and her mother loved her _really _loved her

"I love you Mama" Emma murmured as she dropped off leaning back into her mother

"I love you too my darling" her mother said kissing Emma's silky curls and drinking in the sent of lavender from her bath and of little girl.

"I love you more than anything else in this whole world my sweet, darling little Emma" Emma heard her mother whisper into her hair and as Emma dropped off to sleep Emma thought she heard her mother mumble something like

"Because you are _mine_ not _hers_."

But that of coarse was silly.

_**I got the insperatation for this from The Pris so if she reads this I'm trying not to copy you I swear! Please reveiw!**_


	2. Regina's Prayer

Regina watched Emma grow and every year on her daughter's birthday after Emma had fallen asleep Regina prayed. She didn't do it often just once a year on the day she had become a mother she remembered the night well:

* * *

_Regina rode in her carriage to her step-daughter's home peering into the hand mirrior as Snow White gave birth. Regina smirked she enjoyed Snow's pain but what she would do would be more painful then anything Snow had ever known. It was a little girl Regina smiled she had always longed for a daughter her knights stormed the castle making her entrance easy when she arrived in the nursery a guard held the infant in his arms her father supposively dead at Regina's feet the lock to a cabinet broken in a failed attempt to hide the child. Regina took the squwaling infant and shushed her before hiding in the shadows. After a while Snow White stumbled into the room_

_"No. NO!" Snow cried stumbling over to her husband_

_"Please come back to me" Snow begged cradeling his head and kising him when nothing happened she tried again._

_"Oh my dear Snow, can't you see he's gone?" Regina said coming forth from the shadows Snow began to cry as she cradeled his head in her lap_

_"Why did you do this?" Snow asked_

_"Because this is my happy ending" Regina spat the baby began to fuss a Snow's eyes widened in horror_

_"No" Regina smiled_

_"She's beautiful Snow" Regina said peering down at the little bundle in her arms her name embossed on her blanket in silky purple ribbion._

_"I like her name too… Emma has such a nice ring to it."_

_"Regina please give her to me! Give me Emma!" Snow begged like a child begging for her favorite doll to be returned to her. Regina chuckled_

_"Give her to me!" Snow yelled_

_"I'll do anything just don't harm her!" Regina gawfed_

_"Harm her? Oh dear Snow you must know me better than that, I've always had a… soft spot for children" Snow sobbed_

_"No, please no!" Snow lunged for the baby and with a evil cackle Regina disappeared with Emma in her arms in a cloud of purple smoke._

* * *

It was the eve of Emma's tenth birthday and as she had done for ten years Regina stood before her mirrior

"Show her to me" The mirrior drudged up the image of Emma asleep in her bed and just like every year before that Regina began her prayer using the mirrior as her eyes Regina watched Emma wherever she went inside the palace grounds where Regina was detremend to keep her. Regina prayed that her daughter would be wise, and beautiful and that they'd never find her beautiful Emma, Regina recalled once long ago before she had disappointed her mother her mother had told her every mother's prayer was one every child knew every mother wanted their child led to a place  
guided with the gods's grace to a place where they'd be safe. So Regina prayed Emma would find the gods's light and hold it in her heart and as darkness fell each night Emma would be safe within the walls of her home. That was Regina's prayer the way Regina saw it, it was an eye for an eye, a limb for a limb, _his_ life for _her_ baby. Emma had asked on several different occasions to leave the grounds but Regina had never permited it. _She'll understand one day_ Regina told herself. _Everything I do. I do for Emma._ Everything for Emma that's why tomorrow Emma would become a young lady and as much as it pained Regina that meant no more lullabyes, no more games, Emma would grow up and Regina was convinced she was doing the right thing.

* * *

The next morning after breakfast with her mother and grandfather Emma was escorted to a room in the palace she'd never been to before it was a small plain room with quils and parchment and old books and two desks one big one small. A kind beautiful woman named Belle sat waiting for her and so began the days of Emma's education. Every day after breakfast she'd learn such subjects like Etiquette, and Geography, History and Music only stopping for tea time and dinner both taken with her mother and grandfather. Emma hated it gone where the days of lullabyes and childish games here was the days of "sit up straight Emma" and "a lady never misses her tea time Emma." Where had her childhood gone? Where was her mother who would laugh at such formalties? It seemed as if she just like Emma's childhood was gone. Months passed and soon Emma and Belle became more like friends rather than teacher and pupil. Belle told Emma stories of brave knights and beautiful princesses for that's what Emma was, a princess. And as fall faded into winter Emma's least favorite season Emma began to accept her life was changed and she could never go back to the way things were Every night hair washed and brushed dressed in her night gown Emma would bid her mother and grandfather good night kissing their cheeks before slipping off to bed where she clutched her baby blanket the last tangible link to her childhood and sang a song her mother used to sing to her.

_The sun has gone from the shining skies Bye, baby, bye The dandelions have closed their eyes Bye, baby, bye The stars are lighting their lamps to see The babes and squirrels and birds and bees Are sound asleep as they ought to be Bye, baby, bye._

_The squirrel keeps warm in his furs of gray Bye, baby, bye 'Neath feathers, birdies are tucked away Bye, baby, bye The robin's home is a nest o'erhead The bees, they nest in a hive instead My baby's nest is her little bed Bye, baby, bye._

**_I loved this chapter! Please review!_**


	3. Emma's Lament

When Emma was fifteen she noticed things were changing yet again. Emma hated the color black, it was sad and dark much like the palace she lived in. But her mother seemed to love it and so Emma's entire wardrobe became black. It was fall and the skies seemed permanently gray Emma and Belle sat in the makeshift classroom studying, or trying to. Belle could not miss her friend's distracted nature; finally Belle set the lesson aside and grabbed a new book.

"You need a brake" Belle said flipping through the book, Emma looked up from her work and spotted the book a grin spread across her face.

"Really?" Belle nodded and settled on a story

"Once upon a time" Belle began

"There was a beautiful princess who was loved by all. But she had been cursed by an evil warlock named Rothbart who on the princess's sixteenth birthday kidnapped the beloved princess and took her away to his castle lair at Swan Lake and casted a spell on her that made her turn into a swan during the day and a human again during the night…" Emma tuned out the rest of the story she'd heard it before but it had never struck so true before. Emma was like the beloved princess who turned into a swan she was her mother's swan. That night at dinner Emma summoned up all her courage and asked her mother something she hadn't asked in years.

"Mother,"

"Yes Emma?"

"As you know my birthday is coming up and what I want more than anything in this whole world is to-"

"Speaking of your birthday Emma dear I have a early birthday present for you" her mother said producing a small box Emma took the box and lifted the lid, inside the box was a beautiful swan tailsman Emma stared at the gift in horror it was so little yet stood for so much.

"Mother I want to go outside!" Emma blurted out flinching when she realized what she'd just said.

"What?"

"Well… um… I'll be turning sixteen in a weeks time and I just throught…"

"Emma it's not safe out there" her mother says Emma had heard this before as well determination filled Emma's green eyes

"It's safe for everyone else why not me!" Emma snapped her mother's face darkened

"Emma-" her grandfather said

"The knights get to leave the grounds!"

"You my dear are not a knight," her mother growled

"No, I'm a prisoner!" Emma yelled

"Everyday of my life I'm forced to do what _you _want me to do, wear what _you _want me to wear!"

Emma-" her grandfather warned

"That's enough Emma!" her mother yelled

"You are never leaving the palace! Ever!" Emma screamed in frustration and threw the talisman at her mother's feet before running back to her room. When Emma woke up the next morning she found the talisman on her pillow, sighing Emma put it on and got ready for another day.

_**Tada! please review!**_


	4. So Cold

And then it happened. A month after Emma turned sixteen tragedy struck, her grandfather fell ill. Emma stood beside her mother crying as her grandfather slipped away.

"Emma" Her grandfather called her to his side and Emma came

"Yes Grandfather?" Emma's voice cracked with emotion

"Remember when you were six and I taught you how to make daisy chains?" The old man asked and Emma did remember

"Yes, you said I was a fairy and that fairies bring good luck" Emma said smiling through her tears

"Fairies also bring hope my dear never lose hope" he said squeezing her hand. A sob tore form Emma's throat

"Don't cry my darling Emma everything will be ok" he said wiping her tears away

"Please don't go Grandfather we need you here!" Emma cried

"My sweet Emma, as my last gift to you I want you to have this" her grandfather handed her a fine leather bound book

"Open it" he said and Emma did and inside there was a poem written in her grandfather's hand that read:

**_Goodbye my sweet Emma though it saddens me to depart never give up hope, find out who you truly are. I'll always be in your heart._**

"It's a book to write poetry in," Her grandfather said

"Thank you Grandfather" Emma said

"I shall treasure it always" her grandfather opened his mouth to speak to her mother but started to cough violently

"Daddy!" Her mother cried panicked the fit stopped and her grandfather wheezed he's last words

"Was it worth it Regina? Was it worth… _everything_?"

* * *

And then. He was gone. Emma was inconsolable for weeks after her grandfather's death not even Belle could soothe her. And then a week after they had laid her grandfather down it happened. Emma and her mother were eating dinner together that night when her mother said:

"I'm moving you to a tower, you are a young lady and you no longer need to be so close to my chambers." Emma was horrified she'd always had been able to be close to her mother even if she hadn't needed her!

"There will be no argument about this Emma," her mother said when Emma tried to protest

"You will take your meals with Belle and continue with your studies uninterrupted am I clear?"

"But Mother-"

"No Emma! I will not discuss this! My decision is final!" Her mother yelled and then Emma saw it. The coldness in her mother's eyes, she briefly remembered the cold voice she had heard, as a young child outside her mother's chambers her mother was gone in her place was this cold, lifeless being.

"Of coarse Mother" Emma said quietly and after dinner climbed the steps to her tower where Belle waited for her.

"Emma-" Belle said

"Don't Belle, she's gone I do not wish to talk about it" Emma said. Stiffly that night Emma cried herself to sleep clutching her baby blanket for dear life. Things had changed and Emma was helpless for the first time in her life.

* * *

Regina watched her daughter cry herself to sleep from her mirror yet she felt nothing. All she could think about was how heartfelt Emma's goodbye to her grandfather had been and how _cold_ her own had been. As Regina laid the mirror aside she wept and wished if only for a moment her father was here to ask her a question he hadn't asked since Emma was little, one Regina was wondering herself _was it worth it? Was kidnapping Emma really worth it?_ And for the first time ever Regina had to convince herself it was.

_**The death of Henry messed with Regina to begin with but this is just... cruel please review!**_


	5. Oh Love

The next year of Emma's life was a fairly lonely one she spent her days with Belle studying and very rarely saw her mother, every evening after dinner with Belle, Belle would return to her room in the palace and left Emma alone for the night it was August of Emma's seventeenth year when she met a man who claimed he had no name.

"Everyone has a name," Emma argued one night from behind her locked door.

"Not I" said the man that guarded her as she slept every night from the other side.

"Than I shall name you," Emma decreed

"I shall name you Graham... no... Gilbert. That's what I shall call you." Emma said there was silence

"I guess it's hard to name a person when you don't know what they look like" Emma said just then she heard the door unlocking and stepped back. On silent hinges the door opened to reveal a man with sandy colored curls, a scruffy beard and dreamy blue eyes. He was a rather handsome man and soon enough they fell in love.

* * *

It soon became a regular occurrence for Gilbert to visit Emma's chambers late at night and oh how in love they were! Emma thought of Gilbert when they were apart. One day Belle noticed Emma was distracted

"Emma? Are you all right? You seem distracted"

"Hmmm? Oh sorry Belle I was somewhere else"

"Clearly"

"It's just I'm turning eighteen soon just a lot to think about" Emma said Belle shrugged and said nothing more on the matter. It was a chilly night that night Emma lay under her blankets safe and warm when there was a knock at her door Emma quickly rushed across the room to her lover's arms

"Hey, is everything ok?" Gilbert asked

"Yes… no… I don't know I have something to tell you" Emma said

"What?" Gilbert asked

"Sit down" Emma said easing down on her bed

"I want you to know that I love you so… _so _much" Emma said cursing herself as her hands began to tremble

"Emma are you ok?" Gilbert asked

"Yes… no… oh Gilbert I don't know what to do!" Emma cried burying her face in her hands

"Emma, darling what's wrong?" Emma met his eyes

"I don't know how to say this, I really don't oh gods Gilbert…" Emma began to pace

"I am so sorry Gilbert" Emma said as Gilbert caught her wrist

"Emma, you know you can tell me anything what is it?" Emma gazed into her lover's eyes and saw true love and concern there, she knew they would always be there no matter what happened they could face any storm, conquer any obstacle as long as they had each other, even this so taking a steadying breath Emma told him

"I'm _pregnant_."

_**Sorry it's late... and short... and possibly the crapiest piece I've ever done but please review!**_


	6. Beautiful Disaster

The next nine months went by smoothly Emma hid her pregnancy from all until late one warm June night just before Belle left her for the night Emma was getting ready for bed when she screamed as a sharp pain tore through her body.

"Emma!" Belle came running at her charge's scream of pain Emma hugged her stomach in pain, trying to shield the child within

"No. No, no, no!" Emma moaned

"Not now! I can't have this baby now!" Emma said starting to cry Belle's eyes widened when she saw the state Emma was in

"Belle, please help me!" Emma sobbed as another contraction hit her

"Ok Emma I'll help you, go lay down on the bed and get ready it's going to be a long, painful night." Emma did as she was told thinking briefly how Gilbert should be here for this, this was his child being born after all! And longed for her mother to come swooping in to help her through this, but neither would come there was no time to find her lover not that anybody would know who she was asking for only she called him Gilbert. And her mother had locked her away, there for she would not come. Belle rushed around the room heating water, fetching fresh towels, and telling Emma everything would be ok, Belle was all she had in the world right now, Belle and her baby, her sweet little miracle who she would soon meet face to face.

* * *

Soon, after what felt like eons, but could have been minutes for all Emma knew, of painful contractions the pressure became to great, and she began to bear down. Emma gripped her headboard and gritted her teeth and pushed, eyes closed, breath held, with every ounce of strength she could muster. A cry soon broke the silence and she fell back, sobbing. She wanted Gilbert, she wanted her mother.

Belle picked the baby up, and wrapped him in the thin tea towel from the basin she handed him to Emma, it was a him with a brown mat of hair and bright blue eyes. He stared up at Emma for a long moment with those bright, intelligent eyes tears filled Emma's eyes and she smiled

"He's perfect" Emma whispered stroking her son's cheek

"Absolutely _perfect_" the tiny babe in her arms grabbed her finger with a tiny hand and Emma sobbed, he was so little, so perfect, her little _miracle_.

"Have you chosen a name for him?" Belle asked unable to help herself, she loved babies after all.

"**_Henry._**" The name meant everything, and nothing at the same time.

"His name is Henry," Emma smiled down at her tiny miracle baby

"Welcome to the world Henry" no soon did the words leave her lips the door to her chambers flew open and a group of her mother's knights stormed in followed by her mother herself. Emma paled and hugged Henry closer to herself

"No." Emma said her voice shaking the knights held Belle back and pinned Emma, who tried to fight them, down so one could take a now screaming Henry from her.

"No! Please! Don't take him from me! Please no!" Emma screamed her mother scowled at her before advancing on her sobbing daughter who desperately reached out for her baby.

"You stupid girl!" Regina shouted slapping Emma in a fit of rage. Emma, cheek stinging cried harder

"Please! Please give him to me! Give me Henry!" Regina saw red and turned to the knight holding the crying child

"Dispose of that disgrace!" She ordered

"No!" Emma screamed as the knight carrying her precious baby walked out followed by her mother and the other guards

"No!" Emma sobbed

"Not my baby! Not Henry!" Belle hugged the sobbing girl to her and wept.

* * *

Later that week Emma was summoned down from her tower for the first time in years. She met her mother alone in the throne room a place where all her mother's business was done.

"Who's the father?" Her mother asked

"Where's my son?" Emma asked bitterly

"Tell me who he is Emma! He will be punished for helping you create that _thing_!" Regina shouted

"_Thing?_ That thing is my son, your grandchild were is he?" Emma shouted

"Gone. Now if you won't tell me who the father is I will find out myself and you will _never_ see either of them again am I clear?" Emma felt a old resentment rise up within her

"He was _mine_, Henry was mine and you had no right to take him from me! I love them!"

"Love is weakness Emma"

"No Mother it's not! It is strong, and powerful, and I _will _see Henry and his father again!"

"Oh my sweet girl when would that be?" Her mother mocked

"After you're gone, you won't be around forever Mother and when that day comes I will find them I will _always _find them!" Emma shouted

"I've had enough!" Her mother yelled and with that Emma ran out of the throne room and up to her tower where she locked herself in and wept for the ones she loved.

_**Tada! I had to explain the lack of Henry some how and this is what I came up with please review!**_


	7. Kingdom Come

Emma mourned for weeks Gilbert had vanished the night Henry was born. And her only company was Belle who had taken up residence in Emma's room so she could help her friend mourn. Belle also covered all the windows and mirrors in heavy black cloths explaining to Emma that it was how her people had mourned in her homelands. One dark rainy night Belle went to Emma just after dinner with a familiar book.

"Emma, you remember the story of Snow White and her husband right?" Belle asked her Emma frowned confused

"Of coarse I do, it's my favorite story they take back the kingdom from the evil King Gorge, get married and live happily ever after." Emma said Belle nodded

"Emma, there is something you must know, there is more to the story then you've been told." Emma frowned as Belle opened the book

"Soon Snow White was with child, and while she and Prince Charming were thrilled the Evil Queen's threat hung heavily on Snow White." Belle read.

"But you said the Evil Queen was killed!" Emma cried

"That was a lie, now listen" Belle said as she went on.

"There were plans to send Snow White and her baby to safety through a magical wardrobe before the curse struck. But the baby came early and so Snow White bore Emma. But time was of the essence so Snow White sent her husband with their daughter to the magical wardrobe." Emma's eyes were wide

"But it was not a curse that was coming but the Evil Queen herself she stole the baby and neither of them were ever seen or heard from again." Emma gawked at Belle as she closed the book

"This is a history book Emma, released the year after you were born. Every story in here is true including the one you just heard." Emma struggled with this concept

"I- I- Oh gods!" Emma burst into tears

"I'm so sorry Emma"

"She's the Evil Queen isn't she? From the story?" Belle nodded

"Oh gods!" Emma cried again

"I'm going to help you Emma, but you have to listen to me. Once you get out of this tower I want you to ride east and keep going until you reach the sea."

"B- But I've never been off palace grounds!" Emma cried

"You're a smart girl Emma, go to the palace and tell them who you are and that Regina locked you up." Emma nodded

"Here's a cloak and some previsions and take the book with you too." Belle said slipping the book into a leather satchel and wrapping a heavy cloak that must've been Belle's around her shoulders.

"You're not coming with me?" Emma asked

"I cannot, I must stay here but you must go"

"I'll come back for you Belle I won't let you face her wrath alone." The older woman embraced the younger

"Just get home to your parents and find your son" Belle whispered

"Now, go!" Belle said, so with the satchel slung across her back Emma climbed from her tower. The minute her feet touched the ground someone yelled out.

"Hey you! Halt!" Emma ran, she lunged for a horse's reigns knocking its rider from the saddle and pulled herself up onto the beast's back kicking a dark knight in the face as she did so. And then she realized she didn't know how to ride! More dark knights were coming and she had to move fast, in a moment of desperation Emma snapped the reigns

"Yah!" She shouted kicking her horse into a full gallop, the horse reared before racing off through the palace gates. _Please be east! Please be east!_ Emma prayed as she rode through the forest that surrounded the place she had once called home.

_**Sorry for the late update, REVIEW!**_


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